by Jac Hielema
Disclaimer: het volgende verhaal is fictie. Het is de reis door de Leergang Samenlevenskunst van een in zichzelf en de samenleving vastgelopen jonge vrouw, die droomt van een eigen kleding-lijn. Het leerdoel van de Leergang is het helder krijgen van je, wat wij noemen “Ik ben” om het vervolgens maatschappelijk vruchtbaar te maken. Floortje slaagt met glans. (Logisch, want het is fictie. Tegelijkertijd, alles wat je je kunt verbeelden, kan ook werkelijkheid worden. Lees maar 😉
Floortje was stuck, not only in society, but also in herself. As a young woman, sensitive and overly focused on spiritual development, she lived for years in the shadow of fear, self-rejection and doubt. At the same time, she had dreams - big dreams, like founding her own clothing line with natural materials, fair prices for all people in the production and distribution chain, and designs in all sizes, including for the somewhat fuller man - but the gap between her wish and her reality seemed unbridgeable. Stuck in therapies, dependent on welfare and caught in an endless battle with her own insecurities, Floortje felt small and powerless.
Yet there, deep inside, was a little flame that kept burning. It was that flame that brought her to the Art of Living Together course. In three years, she completely transformed her life. This is her story - a story of letting go, growing, and ultimately thriving. A story that gives hope to anyone who has become stuck in themselves and society and longs for a way out.
The first year: meeting yourself
Floortje's first foray into the Art of Living Together felt like a leap of faith. The first meetings revolved around ‘I am’: who am I, what drives me, and what inner voice am I holding back? The so-inside-so-outside principle, one of the core ideas of the course, challenged her to look not only at her outer world, but especially at her inner world. This was confronting.
“I discovered how much I was holding myself back,” Floortje wrote in one of her reflections. “My head said I wasn't good enough, my heart said I had fear of failure, and my body held me in a state of paralysis. It was like being locked in a prison I had built myself.”
The assignments she was given, such as examining her death wish (“What do I want to have done before I die?”), gave her a painful but clear insight: her deepest desire, to start an honest clothing line, was buried under a thick layer of fear. Through exercises in trust, such as sharing vulnerabilities in the group, Floortje gently began to discover her own light.
Her first big break came during an exercise in which she had to draw her own star. “I drew a little star in a corner of the paper,” she later recounted. “One of the teachers, asked me why that star wasn't bigger. And then I broke down. It was like I could finally see how small I was making myself.”
At the end of the first year, Floortje still felt insecure, but something in her had changed. She now knew she was keeping herself small, and that was already an important step toward change.
The second year: meeting the world
In the second year of the Art of Living Together, the focus shifted to ‘society. Floortje learned how her inner patterns were connected to the systems and structures around her. Inner needs such as free, equal, and together were discussed in detail, and she explored which human images and social structures were holding her back from flourishing.
This year brought out a lot of resistance. Floortje discovered how she trapped herself in a pattern of false hope (“If I ever have enough self-confidence, then I can start”) and false power (“I know the world won't take me seriously”). During an exercise on ‘taking ownership,’ she confronted her tendency to place responsibility for her dreams on others.
“I saw myself always waiting for permission, for outside approval,” she shared. “But if I'm honest, no one else will start my clothing line. I have to do that myself. It felt like a harsh truth, but it also gave me strength.”
A turning point came during a group constellation in which the six keys were depicted: I Am, Value, Ownership, Organization, Relationship and Earth. Floortje stood in the place of ‘Ownership’ and felt how hard it was for her to take responsibility for her own past and desires. Nevertheless, she stood her ground.
Slowly, she began to take her place in the world. She wrote an essay about what a free-equal society would mean to her and, for the first time, dared to share her dream out loud with the group. The support she received was overwhelming. “For the first time, I felt seen and supported. That gave me the confidence to take small steps,” she recounted.
The third year: going public
The third year of the apprenticeship was all about application. Floortje was tasked with turning her deepest desire - her star - into a concrete plan. This was the year she really began to shape her sustainable clothing line.
“I always thought I couldn't start until I had overcome all my fears,” she wrote in one of her reflections. “But in this year, I've learned that your fears don't have to hold you back. You can feel them and still take steps.”
Floortje worked on a business plan fully rooted in the six keys:
- I am: Her clothing line had to feel beautiful, honest and comfortable for everyone regardless of skin color or clothing size.
- Value: She designed a collection of organic cotton with fair prices for all the people in the production and distribution chain.
- Property: She decided that ownership of the creative process would lie with her and her entire team and make the company as a whole ‘her own.
- Organization: Her company would be organized into a sharing society, a circle of professionals around a resource. At the same time part of a community of companies, enabling each other.
- Relationship: Floortje involved local producers and consumers in her plans and built a network.
- Earth: Her clothing line would work with sustainable materials and partners.
Presenting her plan at the final meeting of the learning course was the moment when everything came together. Three years ago she would have stood with kneeling knees and spoken in a trembling voice, if she would have found herself in such a situation at all, now Floortje stood before the group full of joy and with good spirits, her words confident and powerful.
“This clothing line is not just a dream,” she said. “It's a way to not only express my essence, but also make it socially fruitful. Exactly as I learned here.”
The standing ovation she received gave her confirmation that she was ready to fulfill her dream.
The way forward
Today, Floortje is preparing to actually launch her sustainable clothing line. Of course, as part of the Contemporary Capital Body, a community of businesses that make each other possible. The process is not yet without its challenges, but she has learned that every step - no matter how small - counts. “The Collaborative Living Course has helped me not only face my fears, but also embrace them and move through them. I now know that I can create my own life. And I wish that to anyone who gets stuck in society.”
For Floortje, the apprenticeship was a lifeline, but also a springboard. Her story shows that change is possible, even when it seems impossible. And the best part? Her process has only just begun.
(This story I made up. But the reality of training and current participants shows us a similar picture. I know there are many people who dream of a product or service they would like to provide. In a human- and Earth-worthy way. Do you dare to bring yourself in?)